My teacher always gets angry at me when I look outside the window during lessons. She scolds me whenever I talk to my seatmate. She humiliates me when I didn't get the answer she wanted to hear or whenever I, allegedly, don't pay attention in her classes.
I do pay attention. I do listen to her.
I look outside the window every time I think about what she said that caught my attention. I look outside the window arguing facts in my mind and reaching through the stretches of my capacity. I look outside the window to sink what I have learned from her in my mind -- to bury it deep within.
I look outside the window and reflect on the new things I discovered inside the four corners of the classroom. I look outside the window to see the outer world and to think about how I can use what I just learned from her just then because I always believe that the application of what she said will sooner be outside those walls. I believe that the school is the training ground and the real world is the battle ground.
She got angry at me.
I talk to my seatmate to tell him that our teacher is correct; that he is wrong to say that she is wrong. I defend what my teacher said by utilizing all adjectives and adverbs that my young mind can describe and by exhausting all necessary available applicable persuasive linguistic arguments I have to let him realize that our teacher is correct. I talk to my seatmate and make the best out of that argument. I talk to my seatmate not to talk about nothing. I talk but I talk with matter. I believe what we talk about weighs more than what she reads from the book she holds.
She scolded me.
Sometimes, I answer not what she wanted to hear because I'm not fond of saying false things to soothe other people. I answer not what she wanted to hear because I answered what my basic mind can understand and what my fair judgment can conclude. She is a teacher, she knows many things and compared to her, I'm just writings on a leaf.
I believe superiority is an artificial defect. When one gets to stand in the high pedestals, one forgets to look down and ponder the heights and differences.
Many times, I answer not what she wanted to hear because she speaks of things that do not interest me. I'm an individual person and as such, I have different interests and inclinations. I also read. I also learn outside the walls of this social institution. I also know other things but she never asked me of them. I guess she only asked me of things of which she is interested in.
I believe that every person is a unique individual. One cannot force round pegs in square holes because it could cause trouble.
She humiliated me.
From then on I started to feel sympathy from the person who said "I will not let my education interfere with my learning."
***
I was in High School then. Now, I'm taking up Bachelor of Secondary Education -- English and Literature. I got to change what she did. I got to be a teacher.
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